ubercub

Hey :o) After quite a long break from livejournal, and after dealing with years and years of being unhappy with myself, I've decided that I had better start making changes to things in my life that I am unhappy with. I'm nine years out of high school, and the things I promised myself I would do, I didn't, and the things I promised myself I wouldn't do, I did. My regrets lie almost wholly in the social arena - I've been exceedingly shy and far too introverted for my own good as long as I can remember, and my Cub, fzks_cub has a similar story. We have recently began making efforts to change our old habits of hiding away from the big scary world and everybody in it. We've also just started a weight loss routine; we will be journaling about these and many, many other interesting and fascinating things. Please feel welcome to check out my journal. I think I've started to make good use of the tag feature, so that should be a good way to quickly navigate the more recent entries.

I'm not making this journal completely friends only, but some of the juicier subjects will probably be. I've enjoyed making new friends here so far, so I hope you'll add me to your list and check out how we're doing. If you're not on my friends list and would like to be added, by all means please comment on this entry and let me know. I've also set up a naughty filter for which we have quite a few things planned, in addition to what's already up there. Reply to the entry beneath this one if you would like to be added. Replies to both of these posts will be screened, so don't do what we did and be too shy to say hello, or a welcome back :)

I think it's worth mentioning that I really do regret not being better at making contacts here the first time around. If you've ever met me online or in real life, or if you've ever posted a reply to my journal and I never responded - I am sorry, that was impolite and rude and wrong of me. Pretty much 100% of that came from being too afraid to respond. There are so many great people here and I wish I would have been better at interacting with you all the first time around. I'm genuinely hoping that I can get a chance to make up for those mistakes and to do things right this time.

Looking forward to getting to know each of you!


I'm on the left, fzks_cub on the right. Say hi.

Herein this post lies a magical doorway to all things erotic in my dark, twisted, masochistic world. Well, to some of them anyway. I'm going to be pretty open and graphic, and I want to document me and my Cub's initial experiences in many interests that we've always had, but until now have not begun to act upon. And boy, are there ever a lot of interests :)

I've set up a naughty filter to post these things in, and that is the reason I am making this entry. If you would like to be able to see the sex and heavily sex-related entries, reply to this entry to let me know and I will be happy to add you the filter. I'd rather not add anyone without some sort of indication that they want to be on the list... There's a *lot* of guys I want to want to be on the filter, but I don't want to assume and offend anyone. More than that, I don't want my naughty posts to unexpectedly show up on someone's friends list when they're checking LJ at work -- that's just not cool. Comments to this will be screened, so don't be shy about replying -- even if we haven't had a chance to get to know each other very well yet.

Warcraft is boring these days.

We bought some cool crystals and gems from around town recently, adding them to our collection.

Work plods on. They are supposed to be posting a job position soon that would be a step up for me. I think I will put in my application.

Bought some new clothes recently. I don't like to splurge on stuff like fabric and clothing but I desperately needed some new work (and non-work) clothes. Money well spent I guess, I feel and certainly look better.

Wanted to buy a new webcam but that may have to wait. I have been buying other stuff lately (as mentioned above), including art supplies. I picked up some colored as well as graphite pencils and a sketchbook along with a few other items and have been filling my time with that. I have never really been much of a graphic artist, but it certainly is relaxing and entertaining, and I'm getting better with practice. Yay for a real hobby ;) I also may pull out the trombone and/or baritone soon...I always want to play them around this time of year. I guess I miss playing in christmas concerts, lol. I do miss being part of a group of people playing together.

Went out to a local bear bar recently. Didn't stay long, but it was good to get out of the house for a bit and be around other people.

Been listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers a lot lately. Bought a Total Fark account. Need to get an oil change and my truck worked on.

That's what's been on my plate lately. Will try to take and post pictures soon. I'm still around and read LJ. Don't defriend me please :D

The road is a little clearer, it seems, and the way is a bit brighter again.

I think I forgot some things but they are coming back to me.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!! !!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! !!!! !! ! !!!!!!!!!!!!! !! !!!!!! !!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!! ! !!!!! !!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!! !!!!!!! !!!!!!!! !! !!! !!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!! !!!

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( An interesting morning at work )

Guess I'm out at work now! At first I was like "Hurrr" then I was like "Wut" then I was like "OK, cool." Did I do the right thing here? Was I too in-your-face about my sexuality? Did I puss out and should have demanded more rights than the straight folks, and special privileges, like the republicans say we do?

DIAF and burn in hell you mother fucking piece of shit new guild recruit boomkin who took my Rapture staff (the only time it's dropped so far) and then gquit before you even hit the two week mark.

Worthless son of bitch!!!!!!!!!


THIS IS MY RAGE:

It has come to my attention that I need to wear long socks with boots, instead of my normal ankle length socks.

BTW, black glove leather boots really are the win. Thanks joshualore for the recommendation and for convincing me to get them, I really do like them a lot.

How do I care for leather boots? Seems like there should be some polish or tannin or something I rub into them to keep them looking fresh and new and as a nice pair of good leather boots should. God they smell wonderful, I love them, is it possible for them to retain that great new leather smell if I care for them properly? Not much experience with leather here yet. Will they be able to be properly maintained with daily wear?

Edit: they have steel toes...I love that...grrr...

New bored passtime at work: reading sex twitter/lj accounts, and/or reading erotic fiction.

HI

I crave human contact yet I fundamentally dislike most people. What do I do?

Why can I run Crysis on high/very high settings with no problem, but WoW crashes my computer from overheating my video card on medium settings? It says the vid card approaches 120 deg C, does that make sense for WoW? This is not a system problem, it's explicitly a video/gpu issue. Rob's computer, which is identical except for the power supply (his is beefier) has no problem with WoW, but mine does, and it's really annoying. Other games run perfectly fine on high settings. All drivers are up to date. Any suggestions/ideas/tips/criticism on playing WoW?

Click the thumbnail to see system specs:

I hate rick perry, he is a worthless piece of shit.

Yesterday was the birthday of one of my coworkers. They had a big banner that said "Happy Birthday!" and lots of large, oversized balloons at her desk.

Today the balloons have been popping randomly. The fourth one just went off about 30 seconds ago. All I can think about are the guys on (and off) my friends list with balloon fetishes, who would completely be getting off to 1) sitting next to oversized baloons all day yesterday and 2) hearing them randomly pop just a few feet away all day today LOL.

*takes one of the balloons, rubs it on hairy chest, makes it squeak nice n loud...then POPS it*

Edit: I looked down at the floor underneath my desk and there is actually a large piece of a popped balloon down there. It must have flown over here when that last one (loudly) popped. I somehow feel guilty, like I had forgotten to clean up after myself or something lol.

Entrance to my work's cafeteria.

TBRU was a blast, it was so much fun. I loved meeting all the people I ran into, but there were way more people who I wanted to meet that I never ever saw. There were just so many people there it was impossible to meet all of them.

We got back late late Sunday night, and I spent most of Monday feeling like crap. I was exhausted, felt like I had a fever, my tongue was swollen, my mouth was dry, and I felt pretty nauseous. I finally realized that I was moderately dehydrated (and that I had not picked anything up from the naughtiness that I engaged in, which was my first concern). I drank fluids throughout the day - when I could pick myself up from the couch - and by the end of the evening I felt mostly back to normal. I am still feeling a bit wonky, but I figure once I get fully rehydrated and back in the swing of the normal everyday business things will get back to normal.

I danced, I met people, I was brave, I introduced myself to strangers, I ran around in a singlet. Sadly we missed the LJ Meet 'n Greet (I really wanted to finally meet you guys!) - instead I went on one of the excursions that day (and my what an excursion that was!). Next year I will try to plan things better and try to meet/message everyone so that I can fit in a lot more hanging with peoples into such a short period of time. Also, I will try to get off that Thursday and Friday and head up there Thursday afternoon. Having Monday off was nice, too, to recover.

Didn't get to take any pictures really, but I was so busy running around meeting people and having a good time that I wouldn't have been able to fit it in anyway.

For someone who is coming out of the social closet, I think I did really well, I had a GREAT time, and will definitely be going back next year. TBRU was way larger than the smaller events we've been to and it was an eye-opening experience.

So fzkscub and I are going to our very first TBRU this weekend. We have wanted to go for years but have not been able to attend until this year. We are really excited! I guess we are at a point where we are, well, tired of denying ourselves the chance to have fun and socialize with our fellow bears and cubs and admirers, damn it. We're finally seeing how little point there is in us being so shy...

We are staying in the host hotel with our friend Andrew. I get off work at 1:00 tomorrow afternoon and will be leaving immediately for Dallas. We're going to try to make cubmike74 and leiny's dinner get-together Friday evening. After such a long drive we are going be a pair of hungry cubs. We'll be at the pool party, the LJ meetup, and pretty much all the run-related events. We're staying in Dallas until early Monday afternoon, then it's back to Austin for school and work.

We've talked to a few of you already, and I really do want to meet every one of you who is going hehe. We have a tendency to be shy, so if you see us checking you out and grinning goofily in your direction, that probably means we're trying to screw up the courage to say hi. We won't let that keep us from meeting each other - but if you see us around please do come up and say hello, give a handshake, or better yet come up and give us a big bearhug... we do love bearhugs.

After TBRU we are kidnapping joshualore and bringing him back to us to Austin for a week! I am really looking forward to it - I didn't make the most of our time last time so I am happy to have another chance to hang out with Piggy. Arf :)

Rob and I have discovered a revitalized nookie function that we had somehow forgotten about between us. Buttsex FTW! This weekend should be a lot of fun...

Also, I'll be bringing my EMT uniform, for those who have such interests. Anyone else bringing any uniforms/outfits?

We'll have net access while there, and if anyone wants to get together via text message or phone calls, send me a message and let's make sure we have each other's number. Looking forward to seeing all of you, and to a great weekend, week, and subsequent weekend!

must...not...cut...bitches.....

...

OMFG, this is so cute and wrong...not safe for work, I suppose...hah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDiR7UxI8Ow

Turtle raping a shoe...and squeaking!

As soon as pot becomes legal I am quitting this job and entering the cannabis industry. If nothing else I can't possibly fit in less than at my last job, but something tells me that is where I might finally find fulfilling employment.

President Obama has already stopped DEA raids on medical marijuana patients and dispensaries. The rest is only a matter of time...and I want to be ready for the day when I can not only light up a fat spliff in front of a cop without penalty, but dedicate my professional life to something that is so immensely helpful and beneficial to countless people's lives (and that I can feel good about, damnit).